This is my entry for the Perfect Pitch contest that begins on January 17. Looking forward to any feedback. I'll be popping around to some of the other contestants and giving my input. Join us for fun and feedback.

UPDATE:

Pitch:

Two rules: Kill demons on sight, and stay out of their forest. Tiani shatters both on a dare and runs into one who saves her life, but letting him go means exile or worse… possession.


OLDER:

Pitch:

Two rules: Stay away from demons and kill them on sight. Tiani shatters both on a stupid dare and runs straight into the only demon around - a demon who saves her life.

First 150 words:

      The silence of the forest sent chills up Tiani’s back. Even the bugs were quiet. A faint red glow bathed the mountain ridge, the sky changing from the black of night. A few more minutes and the sun would rise. She swallowed past the lump in her throat. It’s just a stupid dare, but if I run back now everyone will call me coward. Her clammy fingers clenched around the leather bound hilt of the knife and she slipped it from its sheath tied around her leg. It’s probably nothing. Just a wolf, or bear. Nothing more dangerous than that.
     A twig snapped behind her and Tiani spun, scanning the treeline. “Ehlrin? Is that you?”
     Silence.
     Her heart beat in her ears, her knuckles white. Just stay calm. Oh, please just let it be Ehlrin’s stupid brothers. Please let them be playing a trick on me.
    A deep rumbling growl made her freeze in place and Tiani slowly turned.