This is my entry for the Perfect Pitch contest that begins on January 17. Looking forward to any feedback. I'll be popping around to some of the other contestants and giving my input. Join us for fun and feedback.

UPDATE:

Pitch:

Two rules: Kill demons on sight, and stay out of their forest. Tiani shatters both on a dare and runs into one who saves her life, but letting him go means exile or worse… possession.


OLDER:

Pitch:

Two rules: Stay away from demons and kill them on sight. Tiani shatters both on a stupid dare and runs straight into the only demon around - a demon who saves her life.

First 150 words:

      The silence of the forest sent chills up Tiani’s back. Even the bugs were quiet. A faint red glow bathed the mountain ridge, the sky changing from the black of night. A few more minutes and the sun would rise. She swallowed past the lump in her throat. It’s just a stupid dare, but if I run back now everyone will call me coward. Her clammy fingers clenched around the leather bound hilt of the knife and she slipped it from its sheath tied around her leg. It’s probably nothing. Just a wolf, or bear. Nothing more dangerous than that.
     A twig snapped behind her and Tiani spun, scanning the treeline. “Ehlrin? Is that you?”
     Silence.
     Her heart beat in her ears, her knuckles white. Just stay calm. Oh, please just let it be Ehlrin’s stupid brothers. Please let them be playing a trick on me.
    A deep rumbling growl made her freeze in place and Tiani slowly turned.

Done! Okay Done for the 50th Time

As any writer knows you write a book, rewrite the book, polish the book, find out it's not good enough and rewrite again. I just finished with major rewrites of a story I like to call Daemerkin. Okay, so the beginnings been polished for years, but I totally rewrote my ending, and for the first time ever I feel like this actually HAS an end. This after cutting off about eighty pages that took the story further. Book two will have a fantastic beginning though. Anyway, for your enjoyment, the first few pages of Daemerkin (also in celebration of actually finishing this before New Years).

CHAPTER 1 The silence of the forest sent chills up Tiani’s back. Even the bugs were quiet. A faint red glow bathed the mountain ridge, the sky changing from the black of night. A few more minutes and the sun would rise. She swallowed past the lump in her throat. It’s just a stupid dare, but if I run back now everyone will call me coward. Her clammy fingers clenched around the leather bound hilt of the knife and she slipped it from its sheath tied around her leg. It’s probably nothing. Just a wolf, or bear. Nothing more dangerous than that. A twig snapped behind her and Tiani spun, scanning the treeline. “Ehlrin? Is that you?” Silence. Her heart beat in her ears, her knuckles white. Just stay calm. Oh, please just let it be Ehlrin’s stupid brothers. Please let them be playing a trick on me. A deep rumbling growl made her freeze in place and Tiani slowly turned. Just among the trees a wolf crouched. Its shoulders brushed against branches ten feet up, the paws larger than her chest. Tiani’s eyes widened and she tried to remember her training, tried to recall some way to get out of this. Surely there was something that would keep her alive, some way for her to beat a demon. The wolf stepped from the trees, its red eyes fixed on her. Two others appeared on either side, saliva dripping from fangs longer than her hand. She’d be no more than a snack for them. Why did I agree to this? What possessed me to think I’d be able to handle a demon? Tiani widened her stance and adjusted her grip, her hand shaking as she tried to remember to breathe. If I’m going to die, it won’t be alone. A wolf leapt toward her from the side. Tiani jumped back and slashed out with the short knife. The blade whistled through the wolf’s fur. Strands fell over her hand. Her feet hit the ground, and she fought to gain her balance. A rock beneath her foot shifted. Tiani pitched headfirst to the ground. Pain twisted through her ankle. A wolf sailed over her head, its claws raking through the air where her head had been a second before. An eerie howl echoed through the valley. It resounded off the rocks and the wolves cringed. The first beams of light broke over the ridge, catching their gray coats. The echoing howl came again, so near the branches trembled. Her heart leapt into her throat as the wolves took one last look at their helpless prey and vanished into the forest. Tiani gripped her knife, her breathe ragged, fingers trembling. Strands of her auburn hair fell into her eyes. What is a demon afraid of? The answer that came only made the shaking worse. Another demon. She looked around, jerking the knife toward the rustling of leaves, the clatter of rocks, the breeze brushing over her cheek. The soft rustle of cloth made her twist around. A man stood in the shadows, his hair black, his eyes dark, endless, like the night sky, just a shade above black. Even in the chilly morning air he only wore a thin black shirt, the sleeves ripped off, and a pair of worn pants. He stepped forward, keeping in the shadows until he reached her. At the edge of the sunlight he paused, took a breath, and crouched by her foot. He reached toward her. She jerked back. Agony twisted through her ankle. A muffled cry broke through her teeth, tears flooded her eyes. The man’s fingers brushed against her ankle, his movements slow, reassuring, as if he sensed she was frightened. Still touching her leg, he pulled a bandage from the brown leather pouch at his waist and wrapped the ankle. Her rapid pulse slowed as the pain in her ankle eased. A hawk called, and the man looked up. No, not a man. A boy. He couldn’t be more than a year or two older than her. Fifteen, sixteen at most. And yet she’d never seen him before. Where had he come from? Was he lost, separated from a group of traders? He scanned the sky for a moment then backed into the shadows of the trees and knelt on the ground two feet from her. He met her gaze. “Who are you?” she asked. Out of his bag he withdrew a loaf of bread no bigger than his hand and split it in half, his eyes roaming the forest, and handed half to her. She trembled as she took it. Is he incapable of speaking, or is he a demon as well? Her throat tightened. Did demons take human form? “You should not have come so far up the mountain. The closer to the top you get the more likely you will be found.” The boy broke off a piece of bread and chewed it slowly, still scanning the tree line. “By the demons?” She couldn’t tear her eyes away from him. Each movement flowed into the next. A calm assurance surrounded him, like he ruled here. It was beautiful, strange, and unnerving. “Among other things.” His eyes flitted back to her then away again. The white headband tied around his forehead bore a strange dark symbol in the center. Three parallel lines with a fourth drawn through them. “Then what are you doing up here?” Please just let him be lost. “I live here.” “Then you aren’t lost?” “No.” The hawk called again and his eyes rose to the sky. “Your friends have all retreated to the village.” Slowly Tiani looked up. How could he know that? “All of them? Did Ehlrin make it?” If those things ate him… “I would assume so, though I know none of their names. Everyone in these woods tonight made it out except for you.” The sigh of relief escaped. At least Ehlrin was safe. Tiani relaxed. “They’ll be worried about me.” “That’s not going to change. There is no way you can make it down the mountain on your own, and they won’t dare come up for you now.” She eyed him for a long moment, glancing at the ankle he’d wrapped. If he’d wanted to hurt her he could have done it already. She inched toward him. “You could help me get home.” He glanced at the forest again, his fingers slipping into the bag at his waist, then looked further up the mountain. “I could.” She dared to breathe again. “The demons might come at any moment. If we go now we can avoid them.” Tiani tried to keep the realization of how close she’d come to death from her mind. The wolves red eyes, the teeth. She placed the knife back in its sheath. No matter who he was if the boy would help her she’d take it. An amused smile creased his lips. “What makes you think there is a demon at all?” “You saw them!” She swallowed and studied his dark eyes. “How did you chase them away?” “Chase what away?” “The demons! The giant wolf things that attacked me.” His smile widened, and he leaned back. “I saw no demon.” Tiani stared at him, her mouth open. She snapped her mouth shut and clenched her fists. “Everyone knows the demons exist.” “Really? Have you ever seen one?” “They just nearly ate me!” Tiani glanced over her shoulder, and her lip trembled as she scanned the trees for evidence of their return. “They looked like wolves to me.” She glared at him. “Every year someone is designated to go into the mountains with tribute to keep them at bay. It’s the only way we survive.” He raised an eyebrow. “And I suppose fruit and bread is enough to keep a demon away, is it?” Tiani’s lips tightened. “They feed on those lost in the forest as well.” He chuckled and shook his head. “And that happens often?” “Well, no. Nobody is allowed to go too far into the forest. It’s only when they break the rules that…” She swallowed. She’d almost been one of those exceptions. She should have followed her first inclination and told Jamo and Kanrin to forget it. “Then if this demon wants to kill you all so badly, supposing there is a demon, why hasn’t he attacked the village?” The corners of the boy’s lips twitched upward as he stared at her, the dark orbs of his eyes filled with amusement. “The Jai are too powerful for them. They protect our village.” Tiani frowned. The Jai were the highest level of her people, the Hindori, and even they didn’t go into the forest unless absolutely necessary. His eyes darted to the forest again, the smile gone. So he was nervous too. If he lived here he must know of the demons and how to avoid them. Unless he was one.

Last night I went to see Christopher Paolini. I really enjoyed his presentation, especially the part where he talked about how he got started writing. He said he graduated at fifteen mostly because he was homescooled and never took summer breaks. After about two weeks he got really really really bored. So he went outback and started digging a hole. He was rather proud of this hole as it was 8 feet deep and 8 feet wide. He then took an old abandoned satellite dish and turned it over so it formed a dome over the top. With the dome on top he placed hay bales all over it and stripped bark from the trees near his home placing them for shingles over the top of the hay. Of course now he couldn't get into his hole, so he dug a tunnel into the hole and built a door for the entrance then place sticks about to fashion it into a vicking mead hall. At this point he decided that he needed to find something to do with himself and he chose writing. What you choose to do when you have nothing to do at all is probably what you should make a career out of.

Nano Wrimo

NANO WRIMO Yes I have been participating in NANO this month. It is now the 14th of November and so far 51,056 words. I believe the goal was 50,000 so hooray I'm there. But the story is not done. My main character just got to the point where he's going to go after the wizard who's been using him as a magical shield since he was 3. But he's not going after him for that. The wizard just killed his father and Nathan, my main character, wants revenge. Too bad the wizard is one of the highest three around. It's not going to make it easy to kill him, especially since Nathan doesn't really know how to use magic. Anyway that's the story in a nutshell. I'm just happy to get to this point. Hope everyone participating in Nano is doing a great job.

Vanished

Yes, I know I have vanished since June. For six months I haven't posted a single thing here. (sigh) It's been a crazy six months. I've decided something though and I hope you'll all agree with me. There are big differences between an author and a writer. A writer puts words on a page. An author makes it so there is no page. A writer creates characters and tries to make them real. An author lets the characters in their mind tell them what's real. When things go wrong a writer gets frustrated and stops working. An author curses the characters for their tricky ways and finds a way to make it work. When life dumps on you and something has to give a writer lets go of their story for a while. For the author the only way to deal with the stress is to keep writing. A writer bleeds red. An author bleeds ink. A writer tells stories and dreams of success. An author creates their own success. And with my crazy schedule that is all I have time for today. Promise I'll get to this more often from now on. (At least once a month.) In the meantime keep up the good work.

What's a rule?

Today I'm participating in Elana Johnson's blog hop. This woman is awesome by the way. if you haven't visited her blog you should.

There are so many rules in writing. Don't use passive voice, keep the point of view the same, your character has to be likeable, don't us ly words. While all of these are valid points sometimes rules are meant to be broken. When someone dares to break the rules one of two things happens. People either love it and it works out beautifully, or they get ground into the dirt for it. At one time or another I've broken every one of these rules and done it on purpose.
My favorite one is the likable character. I like to write characters who aren't likable, at least not to begin with. Their self absorbed and if I met them in real life I'd likely sock them in the face (much worse happens to them in the story, maybe that's why I like to write them). Dare to break the rules and strange things start to happen, new pathways open, and you go on a journey to new places you've never imagined before.

My name is...

As I go throughout my day I have a half dozen ideas for new stories flit through my mind. Most of them are discarded almost immediately, mostly because I already have a dozen unfinished stories that I need to get to, and starting a new one is just insane, but now and again i get one stuck that refuses to leave me alone. The character starts to take root in my mind, talking to me.
It generally goes something like this.
My name is Alix. (The scene begins to form here, this time being the side of a beautiful lake with a palace behind it.) I'm an elf, the last born of the king of elves, and unofficial leader of the seven realms. So how did I end up in a fire, the heat searing my lungs, and burning my flesh. And who is the guy watching as I die?
Thus a story is born, and yes I'm writing this. It's currently at about 100 pages. (Started 2 weeks ago). For me that's how a story begins. Just a thought flitting through my head, and a desire to find out if they'll live. (Read many of my books and you'll see that most of the time they start with a character in mortal peril, though how they are changes.)